D-Vader went away this weekend. There was a bunch of mixed feelings running though my veins. What is he going to do on this weekend away? I do NOT care, I’m going to have fun! But what if….No! No no no, I will not worry about it. Up and down the excitement went of him not being there. Ultimately it was a good thing. I ended up having a great weekend, except for Saturday. I was working in Monte Casino, a place me and D-Vader visited often. It was “our” place. We would go to the movies there, we would drink coffee there, we would hang out at Skoobs and read books or work, we would play games there…ultimately it was the place he asked me out about a little over 3 years ago. I walked past all “our” places and ironically enough, the Seattle Coffee and gaming placed closed down. And I thought, wow, how symbolic. I cried a little, then sucked back the tears. I will get over it…one day.
I’m slowly but surely trying to adapt. Yes, still adapting after almost 2 months of singledom. Trying to worry less, trying to message less, trying to think less – about HIM of course. It’s not easy still having to live together. Yes, you heard me right. Don’t even bother asking, that’s a story for another day, but sheesh what a story.
Anyway, so while learning to adapt, I’m busy working on my new tattoo for my arm. I was wondering what wording will I put on the tattoo. I need something to remind myself of where I have come from, of what I have been through, and where I want to be. Funny enough, I saw a Facebook post of a snake eating a lizard. However, the lizard bit down onto the snake, so the snake was unable to swallow him, and eventually spat him out.
The lizard adapted to the situation and lived for another day. He made s*!t happen!
That said, I decided that’s it! That is my inspiration for my tattoo. I will look at it and I will love it for what it represents. I have survived, like Mr. Lizard, a lot in my life. I will survive this too, no matter how long it takes or how hard it is (like living with D-Vader, still loving him but not having that love returned)