time, heal, loneliness, alone, hurt, memories

Time Heals What Reason Cannot

Quote by Seneca

I’m helping one of my dearest friends figure out time wise and date wise what would be best suited for her holiday travelling plans next year. And I stopped… and I thought…next year already? 2017 is almost here! How did time fly so fast.

“Mysterious thing, Time. Powerful, and when meddled with, dangerous.”― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

I get a little panicky…holidays is almost upon us and what will I do? I have no more D-Vader to make plans with. There is no more excitement of what we will be doing for New Years. Every year for the past 4 years or so we where together. Either at the beach, in a game park close to the Kruger Park, or on a rooftop looking at the fire lanterns filling the sky. We never liked to go clubbing, it just wasn’t a “thing” during holidays. Always. Always just us two, facing the New Year coming our way.

Who would have know what this year had in store. From the excitement of moving in together to the total destruction of it all falling apart. Time is no man’s friend I think. Just this week D-Vader had a family member pass away tragically. It’s sad and yet, life goes on. A death only bothers those in the immediate proximity of that person’s life, and no one else bats an eyelid. Tomorrow could be my day. And what do I have to show for it?

So I’m thinking of what to do. Stressing over the future already. Wondering who he will spend New Year’s with. I can’t sit at home? Can I? Just doing what exactly? Should I go visit my family? It’s going to be the same there. Will I be able to handle the feeling of total loneliness even with people around? Maybe I need to just get away too. How…I do not know. I just have this urge in my bones to just go. Go away. Anywhere would work. Even if I just drive to Ballito and camp out on the beach! Yeaaaah right. Totally safe…

(I’m actually getting a headache from just worrying about it – so I Googled “Music To Relieve Headaches” haha. Works well enough.)

I think I will make sure that I do at least something new / cool / amazing each month, even if it costs money. Visit far away friends. Go camping. See a play. Treat myself to a massage. At the end of October I’m going for a doggy sleepover. The Wetnose Animal Rescue Centre is hosting a Sleepathon, where you get to spend the day and night with some of their shelter animals. It will be good for my soul!

Back to TIME though. If Seneca and Professor Dumbledore knew what they were talking about, then I’m sure I just have to be patient. Even if everything feels boring and lonely as hell. Time will heal. Make the right choices. I know I will get to a place in my life where I will actually be ok with doing amazing things…alone.

On a more positive note to myself though: I do have some things to show for my life thats pretty great – awesome AWESOME family and friends being there always. And amazing memories, even if they where with D-Vader.

time, choose, easy, right

A Quote On Time – Albus Dumbledore

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