I watched The Holiday again this weekend. I love Kate Winslet and of course Jack Black! What a cute “movie couple” they made. So then there is THIS scene —> WATCH

She knows how I feel…

“Turns out he wasn’t in love with me like I thought. What I’m trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually ache in places that you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t really matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends, you still go to bed every night and go over every detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think you where that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door…and after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new and you’ll meet people who’ll make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.”

Was it all a waste? How big of a fool was I? How often did I actually look past the reality of the situation because of how much I loved D-Vader…and when will it end? I’m doing research and more research. Believe me, nothing can really make you feel better about your own life or situation, but I’m giving it a go. Anything to let my mind know that I’m not alone, that this won’t last, that one day it will all be better. But WHEN….

Alexia LaFata writes in this article I found:

“If your breakup is new and it feels like your dead heart is pumping bits of ashes throughout your body and poisoning your veins with despair, know that this extreme lowness physically cannot last forever. Extreme emotions, bad or good, do not linger. It’s the nature of being human.

So, eventually, the deep sadness you feel as a result of this breakup will become subdued, almost unnoticeable — until it starts popping up unexpectedly. Be prepared for these unexpected moments, since you never know when exactly they’ll come. Maybe you watched a movie and there was a brief mention of his favorite sports team. Maybe a character in a book you’re reading shares his sister’s name. Maybe you’re wearing his favorite color today and you realize it halfway during lunch. And boom: The sad arrives.”

Really? That’s fantastic news…urgh. But I know it’s true. I’ve been here before. Not as intense as THIS part of my life but still…I would like this to be over A.S.A.P. Just like it is for him. I also want to be able to switch off my heart and feelings like he does. I also want to act all cool about this, like it’s a bit of load-shedding, nothing serious, 1 2 3 over it. From what I’m reading it could take me anywhere between a year or 2 (or more??) to fully get over him. But I know it depends on me as well. So for now I’m counting the days…and nights.

And I’m dealing with my “All Time Low

Thanks for reading. Thanks for the patience with my ever breaking heart.






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