I love TED Talk. Simple, enjoyable animations, to help one understand sometimes the most interesting things, like solving riddles, why animals have different life spans, and even teaching you how to write comedy.
So anyway, once you on the YouTube channel, you always get suggested videos on the left hand side. As I’m busy watching a video on where the tradition started for kissing under the mistletoe, this video makes its appearance. It’s done by The School of Life.
First instinct is…they are so right. But the heart always jumps in with, “nooo but it can be different this time.” It’s a constant battle between heart and mind. But I watch it again.
And a 3rd time. And I look at the cute little animation that is representing me, and I see the damage the little ball of fur (or is it spikes? For protection? haha) is getting. And my heart just “clicks”. My mind is right. And I’m actually at peace with it.
I think, I THINK…I understand at last. We are both chasing ghosts. Ghosts of our past. Deep down I know I wish that we could really be friends. That even if we never ever get back together, that there will be that “bond”. The “we have so much in common” bond. The “we have the same humour” bond. The “we still think and say the same things” kinda bond…but it can’t last. It’s not good for anyone.
So to explain my thinking better, I chase ghosts because of what I need and crave emotionally. Of wanting what WAS good in the relationship and trying to stretch it out. He chases the same ghosts, with his ex. It’s ironically sad. Only now do I believe him when he says “he understands”. He really does. He knows what I’m going through, what I went through because he is still chasing old dreams with her as well. And it’s really sad to know what he is prepared to do and say to get her back and just as sad to see that she is not prepared to give him a chance, but still prepared to play with his feelings. Bitch.
Is there a saying that goes “What others do to you, you shall do upon others?”
There should be. Because it happens. And I don’t want to be that person. Snip-Snip-Snip.
So in ABBA’s famous NOT SO last words:
I don’t wanna talk
About things we’ve gone through
Though it’s hurting me
Now it’s history
I’ve played all my cards
And that’s what you’ve done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play
I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I’d be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules
The winner takes it all
The loser’s standing small
Beside the victory
That’s her destiny
Have a happy easter guys!